Monday, January 10, 2011

Haiku #9

the hush between
fall and spring-- the icy breath
of winter


and one in the rigid 2-3-2 syllable form:

beneath
white heaped tables
green squares

(I would love to hear comments back on this last one, to let me know if it is easily understood)

One Stop Poetry Form: Haiku
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5 comments:

  1. LolamouseJanuary 10, 2011 at 10:26 AM

    Thanks for checking out my blog! Love your haiku. Not familiar with the 2-3-2 form. Does it have a name? That one brought to mind snow covered patches of grass perhaps as seen from above, like from a plane. Am I totally off?

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  2. MargaretJanuary 10, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    I am new to haikus - actually poetry in general. But I see it as maybe picnic tables freshly snowed upon, patches of grass yet to be covered with snow...? The icy breath of winter is something we are experiencing in NC of all places!!

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  3. lizziviggiJanuary 11, 2011 at 6:32 AM

    Thanks, gals-- you got it, Margaret! I was looking at a wintry picnic table.

    Lola, I don't think there's a separate name for the 2-3-2 syllable form. I guess that when Haiku was first starting to be written in English, they started with the 5-7-5 form and eventually realized that syllables work quite differently in Japanese and 3-5-3 or even 2-3-2 would be closer to authentic Haiku. So now more and more English Haiku is being written this way, or "free-form" Haiku which is simply short-long-short without a specified number of syllables.

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  4. Shashidhar SharmaJanuary 13, 2011 at 3:06 AM

    I am glad that I followed your post here.. and these are beautiful too...
    I am also glad that i was late in coming here so I dont have to put my foot in mouth by saying something totally opposite to what you have meant in the last haiku.. ;-)
    The last one inspired me to write this one...

    Puddle on the ground
    Trying hard to climb up the roof
    Icicle forms


    Shashi
    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2010/11/still-life-fountains-of-spiritual.html
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

    ReplyDelete
  5. lizziviggiJanuary 13, 2011 at 7:37 AM

    Shashi, what a beautiful image! Thank you for sharing it!

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