Monday, January 17, 2011

Believer

I hear my child call in the night,
Eyes crazed, cheeks flushed with fever.
I won't let her go without a fight.

Lips curl, tongue rolling bright
She begs me, please, believe her
I hear my child call in the night.

Her righteous shudders of delight,
Agonies of conviction seize her.
I won't let her go without a fight.

Her illness, a wall of impossible height,
Her fortress, a ring of believers--
I hear my child call in the night.

I watch her creep toward the light.
Jesus, don't make me grieve her.
I won't let her go without a fight.

Her faith convinces her they're right--
My faith says they deceive her.
I hear my child call in the night.
I won't let her go without a fight.


This poetry form is called a villanelle, and it's a lot of fun to work with. I wrote this villanelle for One Spot Poetry's Monday Poetry Form. Click here to learn more about the villanelle, and read other poets' entries.

7 comments:

  1. Interesting and dark subject for the form but you mastered it from the start, a dark song and a danse macabre perfectly executed. No we don't let our children go without a fight until they grow up and sail away. Beautiful. Gay

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  2. i like the faith and the fighting spirit of a loving mother in your poem - really beautiful...
    ..regarding the rhymes and villanelle form - if you would like to have a detailed feedback, you could mail me or leave a comment at one stop - but i just realize i don't manage to comment on all entries in detail..

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  3. This gave me chills! Beautiful work.

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  4. Nicely done, Liz. Mothers can probably appreciate this more than anyone. I've always been amazed at how some mothers become tigresses when their children are involved (not all, but I think most)!

    And faith is not believing in some unseen force or deity, but seems, in this case, to involve trust in the reality of the mother's understanding of her child and her total commitment to her child.

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  5. Beautifully written, I can't see myself writing a vilanelle, they are so hard to craft. =S

    I stopped by to thank you for one the most insightful, beautiful and thoughtful comment on my last poem back at Poesia Torta.

    Thanks.

    Take care and keep smiling. =*

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  6. Greetings, how are you?

    your absence is missed.
    Write a free verse 4 Poets Rally, enjoy poetic friends, you are invited!

    Hope to see you in,

    Love your poetry talent and looking forward to a profound experience with your input.

    Cheers.
    xoxox

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